47! 47! 47!!
I left the exam hall with a headache and a feeling of dissatisfaction and failure. I know you’re most likely thinking, “Calm down, bro. You will get over it soon after the exams are over,” and I honestly don’t blame you. Why should I? It happens to everyone, to many students, to be more specific.
The truth? I went back home after my exams and that feeling followed. It felt at home with me and I couldn’t send it packing. How could just one course leave me feeling so terrible? Didn’t I do other courses that didn’t give me a headache?
I would lie on my bed at night, and the thoughts would quietly waltz in again. Funny enough I slept one night and had a dream! Guess what, it was the same course. Whew! Was an end to it ever in view? I just could not figure it out. OK, so I dreamt and then I saw “47”. Does that number remind you of anything? Does it reveal anything to you? Any secret or reality at all? Well, it shouldn’t, because that was the score I had in that course… In the dream! I woke up thinking ” what a thing! “. So now that score kept hunting me all through the break yet I kept hoping it was just a dream.
Only for me to check my class WhatsApp group days after and then saw the score sheet for that particular course. You could guess that reaction when a wonderful score was smiled at me, standing right in front of my matriculation number. I don’t know what you are thinking o but that score was an amazing 47. Maybe it was the continuation of my dream right?. But no, it wasn’t. It was real 47!.
It was at this point that the feeling of dissatisfaction and failure said goodbye to me! How could this be? I don’t know but I felt relieved and relaxed after strong the 47. Not because I felt “oh, thank God I edged myself in” but because I told myself “this means you have to do better in your remaining courses in this school” and I told myself that for me to do better, then I have to look ahead and not behind.
There are usually lessons to learn from what happened in the past but we never win if we stay in the hurt of what happened in the past. I told myself the truth: “the new session is starring soon and if I want to do better, I also need to feel better and excellent”. An excellent mind gives room for excellence. Right?
47 was bad but it could be better. Yes, I could not change the 47 in that particular course but that course alone doesn’t in itself define my stand in that school except if I let it by staying with it. I have to let it go and that was what I did.
Maybe it is more excellent to respond with a feeling and disposition of ” oooh, that means I need to do better” than to respond with that of “can I still graduate in good academic standing from this school? Can I actually do well again?”