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FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS

“Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. Did you read that? Did you? Read it again!

This appears to me like a person is totally judged and characterized by the kind of relationship he or she keeps and hangs around. To better explain what that statement means or to give more sauce to it, I will say that the statement “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are” brings to the table the fact and truth that influence is the nucleus and mitochondrion of friendships and every other relationships. I used the scientific terms nucleus and mitochondrion so that I can do justice to this matter. Nucleus is the source of life or it is the life of a cell, it is the organelle in the cells of the body that contains the molecules of life which are the chromosomes and DNA and then it I’d from there that the process of protein Formation starts. The kinds and different t types of body structures you have today are all coded for and this coding is contained in the nucleus. Also, the mitochondrion is termed the “power house” of the cell. It is the sire of energy production in the cell for the whole organism.

So, like I said earlier, it means influence is the life and power house or energy-generating set of a friendship. Now, let me break it down. First, influence as the life of friendship means that there can’t  any friendship if influence is not there. This means that not every partnership should be termed friendship. Many people call people their friends and then there is even best friend. Before I go to the best friend part, I will first talk about friends. Is it everybody you call your friends? No! You don’t st have friends anyhow. A friendship that is the true friendship has a strong foundation and something that is being shared. We are quick to call and misuse the word “friend”, on the lighter note, it is acceptable but the ones you stay with the whole time, the Ines you move around with, are they really your friends? If there is nothing being added to you in that company, then there is nothing called friendship there. You can  give it another name but not friendship. Friendship is that union in which there is now a common obvious characteristic shred by the two or more people involved and this happens ad a result of the influence of one on the other.

For example, you move around with someone who is academically sound and excellent but you are way below average or he/she is very hardworking and focused but you are very lazy and distracted by many things. You have been moving together for a year or more and there is no form of change in you, or even in the other person, then you were never friends, you were just play buddies. The fact that there has been ni form of influence by one person or the other means that friendship is not on place. The life of friendship in influence.

To the other: influence is the power house of friendship. It gives energy to friendship and any other relationship. It is very simple: if by being around you all the time and a lot of things about me have changed and improved, then you have rubbed off on me. That is influence! As that influence continues from one end to the other, the friendship will get stronger and mite intimate because each person now knows that there is ways something to gain from and give to the other person. You see?

If you are reading this, I am sure you are no more in primary school. See, we have left the stage of primary school where anyone/everyone that plays with you is your friend. No! We have left that phase. Where we are now is the stage where you gave ti understand what each company you keep does to you! If you are in a company and nothing is being added or Taken away from you, let me ask you this question: are you a zombie? Something being take away from you does not have To be seen as a bad thing. A bad attitude can be removed from you or get corrected by being around some people.

Right now is the period where you are deliberate about things. “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are” tells you that there is no friendship without influence; if there is no influence, then it can’t termed friendship. It is as simple as that. Friendship will always rub off on those involved!

If you are keeping company or peers, or you are in a marital relationship with someone or even if it’s the relationship between you and your siblings, what is the source of the energy in such company? Gossips? Gists? Play? Envy?. What keeps such company or relationship alive? Money? Gossips, material gifts?. Of nothing of eternal value is being shared on that company or relationship, you are all jokers playing a game of cards and laughing at the defeat of one another but you are not aware. We are not zombies and we are not kids anymore, we are meant to know what we stand to gain from whatever company and relationships we keep or move with.

I just mentioned “gain” above but there is something that is equally important and if possible or allowed, I will say it is more important. That thing is : what do you stand to give? Do you think you don’t give in relationships? So, if you don’t give, how will the other person gain and if the other person does not give, how will you gain? Not material gifts! If you want to be a person of influence, you must be available to always given this means that if you want to keep someone as your friend, you must always be available to give! Now, I can gear some who are reading this and asking : what if the other person is not ready to give? See, that question is the reason why each person should or is meant to read this article as an individual (for me). Don’t read with another person in mind. Don’t ad it and be thinking about the other person not doing what the article is talking about. It is for you as much as it is for every other person. So, do yourself a Favour and take it personal first then you can now do what you are meant to do as a friend: making the other person better by giving him or her what you have learned, either by teaching him or her consistently or by allowing him or her to read what you read and then seeing to it that you both get to understand it and get better together. But you have to first ensure that you take it for yourself and then give to the other person. If you decide to do the “he/she is guilty of this”, you will be blind to the fact that you need it as much as he or she does and then you will put yourself on danger of blaming and criticizing the other Person rather than being available to give to the need of the partnership which is what friendship entails.

Always be ready to give! At all times. Don’t  be so carried away by the thought of the other person not ready to give also. That thought contributes to the destruction of different kinds of relationships and it cuts short your influence on the other person involved. Stay in your lane and ensure you are doing what you are meant to do and if the other person is not doing  it right, here is another avenue to be a friend to that person by helping him/her start doing it right but you have to be careful not to do the blame and criticizing game on the person all the time because that will destroy the whole thing even more and then your own rightness will count for nothing (be of no use in the relationship) which should not be so. The fact that you are right should be an advantage for you to influence the other person/people.

Like I said earlier. Influence gives energy to friendship and influence should not depend on the goodness or badness of the other person/people, it depends only on how much of good is in you and this is why each person must give himself or herself to personal development because it is for the sake of the others rather than self.

Remember. Don’t play the blame game in tour mind with this article. You are reading it, it speaks to you first.

 P.S: you can influence someone in a good way and you can influence them in a bad way but it is obvious that the good way is the right way and that’s at this article follows.

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